One of the Most Important Needs in Relationships

April 15, 2016

Would you like to know one of the most important needs for any relationship? Good old-fashioned honesty and openness.

Naturally, both husbands and wives need to be honest with each other, but this is an acute need for women. Every wife needs to know the man who shares her life is always being honest with her.

This is especially vital because it affects a woman’s response to a man’s authority and headship in the home. Husbands, if your wife is going to be able to respond to your authority and leadership, she needs to know she can trust you. If she senses you’re not being completely honest with her or that you’re hiding something from her, she won’t be able to properly submit to your leadership.

Take a look at 1 John 1:6-7:

If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not know the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

Light is a symbol for the Word of God. You need to walk with your spouse in the “light” of the Word. But “light” also means to have everything open and visible – no subterfuge, no deception. Only when we are walking in that kind of light can we have right fellowship with one another.

Obviously, the single greatest obstacle to walking in the “light” is the practice of lying. It is absolutely necessary for wives to be truthful, but as the person in the position of leadership, it’s especially important that the husband eliminate this harmful habit from their lives.

When a husband lies to his wife, it is usually for one of three reasons:

One: He is a chronic or habitual liar. This usually stems from some type of self-esteem problem. This person feels that he needs to put himself in a better light by improving on the truth. This usually begins in early childhood and continues as a life-habit or stronghold right on into adulthood.

We all know people like that. It can be very troubling to be married to one of them.

If you’ve been a chronic liar in the past, I have good news for you. When you were born again, that old man passed away. You’re a new creature, so start acting like it. Stop lying.

Two: He lies to avoid conflict. Here’s an example.

Suppose Lynne calls me at work and asks me to stop by the store on the way home and pick up a few things, but I forget to do it. When I walk in the front door, she asks, “Did you go to the store?” If I say, “Uhhh, yeah… I did, but they were out of what you wanted,” I’ve just lied to avoid conflict.

What usually happens when this type of lying consistently takes place? The wife eventually catches on and comes to believe that her husband is not trustworthy.

Three: He lies to protect his wife.

On the surface, this type of lying looks sort of noble – even chivalrous. It’s not. This guy tries to “protect” his wife by not telling her how bad a given situation is.

He tells her things are fine when the family is in serious financial trouble. She doesn’t know anything is wrong until someone shows up at the front door to foreclose on the house. This type of lying is very unfair and just plain stupid.

There is no room in the marriage relationship for dishonesty of any type. Dishonesty breeds distrust. Where there is distrust there can be no true fellowship. Keep honesty at the forefront of your relationships. Your spouse needs it – and as your God-given partner in life, your spouse deserves it.

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